Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge


Let me just start off by saying: get this book. Regardless if you are planning to adopt or not, it provides amazing insights on attachment trauma, how to support others more effectively, and how to ask people about their origins in an appropriate and caring way. With that said, I would say that it is even more imperative that if you are considering adopting, that you should start off with this book in order to ensure that you are starting off with appropriate expectations for the struggles your child, your relationship with your child, and you will face along this journey.

At first blush, I was afraid that this book was going to ask too much of parents; expecting them to be attachment therapists right out the gate. The Table of Contents was enough to make me even question my own clinical skills, and I have been working with adoptees for quite some time! With that said, the Table of Contents laid out very clearly the issues that you and your child will encounter in a way that validates the experience of the adoptee. Each chapter contains important psychological information, things to look for, and simple action items parents can engage in to provide the best care for their child.

Sherrie Eldridge also makes it abundantly clear that she is well read, providing many resources throughout the book. I even order a few myself for future reading. She also provides book and video recommendations to further your knowledge and understanding.

This is the sort of book you should read prior to adopting, but then revisit after each developmental marker, just to ensure that you are staying on the right track and to re-digest important parenting tips provided throughout the book. I highly recommend this book!


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